Depression and anxiety go hand in hand. At times they are confusing bedfellows, but it is nearly impossible to have one without the other. For example, a woman says, "I feel depressed and can't get out of bed. Then my husband comes home and I just want to bite his head off. I'm such an awful person." This person isn't awful, she's suffering from a complex combination of anxiety and depression. Her anxiety may be manifesting as lashing out (or acting out behaviors) and one of depression's lesser known side effects is irritability, which can lead to such thoughts and behaviors.
The obvious definition of depression is "a depressed mood for most of the day and a diminished interest or pleasure in activities" in the words of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-IV-TR (DSM). Another tricky depression antic is that it can be symptomatic in the form of low self-esteem or low self-image. You may hear someone saying things like "there's no excuse for the way I've messed up my life," or "it's my fault that I didn't go to work because I'm lazy." The DSM also points out "excessive and inappropriate guilt" as a symptom. This might manifest in an "I can't get over it" attitude or an "I'm totally unworthy of anything fun or good" campaign.
Other signs may be excessive crying, severe change in appetite, sleeping all the time or not sleeping at all, feelings of worthlessness, indecisiveness, lack of concentration, recurring thoughts or images of death, and at it's worst, ideas of suicide.
Anxiety can take on many forms like panic attacks, fears about being in public or socializing, and reactions to traumatic events, but in terms of depression, general anxiety can also be the perfect compliment to its counterpart, depression. Anxiety often produces excess chemicals in the brain that leave us feeling on edge, in hyper drive, overwhelmed, fatigued, unable to concentrate, irritable, tense, and not sleeping like we should.
It is important to understand the interaction of depression and anxiety on the mind and body to understand how to treat it. When a person is in a state of arousal (anxiety), the body and the brain work hard to calm the system, but over time those biological functions become overworked and no longer soothe our anxiety. We have to learn how to "override the system" in order to control our anxiety - namely, taking long deep breaths (in the nose, from the belly, and out the mouth), and changing our thought patterns when we become anxious or depressed.
Next time you think, "I'm such an idiot," and you can feel yourself turning red, feeling keyed up, or your heart beating quickly, stop and take 5 deep breaths while telling yourself something realistic about the problem. "I'm only human, and humans make mistakes." "This won't matter in one week's time." "I'm very smart, I just rushed and made a mistake that I can fix." Or, try to externalize the anxiety: "Anxiety is attempting to intrude on my mind and body right now, but it will not overtake me. I know how to breathe through this."
If you are feeling depressed, my best advice to you is to be kind to yourself and seek help. If you can lie in bed for an extra hour, and you feel like you need to, then do it. If you want to comfort yourself in some way to not feel so badly and it won't hurt you in the long run, I encourage it. We are taught to be so hard on ourselves and it is very important to fight the urge to push yourself to your limit all the time. Loved ones are the best antidote to depression, even though it may seem scary or impossible to share what you are going through. If you sincerely and repeatedly reach out to loved ones and still feel alone, seek help online, find a local support group, or get in touch with an organization who helps people in your situation. It is important that you feel understood and connected when experiencing depression and anxiety.
If your depression is to the point of suicidal thoughts or urges or thoughts of harming anyone, you should immediately seek help from a professional! Better yet, seek help from a professional before your symptoms are life-interfering. You do not have to wait until you are incapacitated to ask for help.